My Life as A Jet Set Stewardess

JSS Is In Europe!!

2008-10-05T18:12:00.001-04:00

JSS - Is off jet-set traveling across Europe ... She will be back writing in a few weeks! Stay tuned!

IM SORRY!!!!

2008-09-18T21:12:00.000-04:00

To the Flying Public: We're sorry
We're sorry we have no pillows.
We're sorry we're out of blankets.
We're sorry the airplane is too cold.
We're sorry the airplane is too hot.
We're sorry the overhead bins are full.
We're sorry we have no closet space for your over sized bag.
We're sorry that's not the seat you wanted.
We're sorry there's a restless toddler/overweight/ offensive smelling
passenger seated next to you.
We're sorry the plane is full and there are no other seats available.
We're sorry you didn't get your upgrade.
We're sorry that guy makes you uncomfortable because he "looks like a
terrorist".
We're sorry there's a thunderstorm and we can't take off.
We're sorry we don't know when it will stop.
We're sorry you're crammed into a space so small that if you were an
animal PETA would protest.
We're sorry our plane has no music or video entertainment for your 3
hour flight.
We're sorry we ran out of your favorite soda.
We're sorry there are no more sandwiches.
We're sorry that Budweiser costs $6.
We're sorry we don't have diapers for your baby.
We're sorry we don't have milk for same baby.
We're sorry you can't hang out by the cockpit door waiting to use the
bathroom.
We're sorry you can't hang out at the back of the airplane.
We're sorry you have to sit down and fasten your seatbelt.
We're sorry you have to put your seat up for landing.
We're sorry we don't know when we're going to land.
We're sorry we don't know whether your plane to (substitute any city
in the world) will be waiting for you when we land.
We're sorry we've been diverted because we ran out of gas waiting to
land.
We're sorry for these and so many other things that we have
absolutely no control over but which we are held accountable for
EVERY SINGLE DAY .

Please understand. Flight attendants are not the enemy. We share your
space. More than anyone - we want to have a nice, pleasant travel
experience.

( I received this in an email...not sure where it came from)

I Will Never Ever Forget

2008-09-11T01:19:00.008-04:00

September 11th, 2001. My heart is still extremely sad. I am working on my story on 9-11-01 but didn't have it ready for today. I was (for those of you who don't know) flying that morning PHL-SFO on a 757 (long haul/big airplane/lots of gas..) and was diverted to IND.

Scary thought still - It could have been me.\So my heart weeps another year for the innocent victims and their families.

This flight attendant will never ever forget.

Because I Want To

2008-09-09T22:03:00.002-04:00

Ben's Brother - Stuttering
Here is your steamy video for the day. Enjoy.

Prague 2008

2008-09-08T13:10:00.020-04:00

I have been traveling for the past 7 years and I don’t think I have ever experienced quite the feeling I did leaving JFK headed to Frankfurt (enrote to the Czech Republic) on a 747. We all have our “outlets” some of course better than others, but the sense of complete freedom and quest for new adventure was unlike any feeling I have probably ever had and definitely a new found outlet for me. Traveling to me is very habitual. At any give time I can pack up my bag in a matter of minutes put my ID on and be headed out to the airport to pretty much go anywhere in a minutes notice. So to find a new found fondness in travel was exceptional. Obviously I am just in need to expand my horizons and venture outside my norm…Something most of us probably need to do more than we realize.

How many times do you feel completely care-free, worry-free and so absolutely eager to do something completely out of your comfort zone ? For me the feeling is all too very rare. I feel as I do challenge myself quite a bit with new things but to infrequently feel entirely out of what I call my “normal routine“ . I guess that what Prague was all about for me. Sure the city was amazing , but the essence of my travel on this trip was freedom and independence. I found it there in Prague.

Planning the trip to Prague was almost a no-brainer. Hannah and I found a deal that we couldn’t turn down and knew we could both get the time off so really there was no question as to if we should go. Seeming odd to many, Hannah and I hadn’t seen each other in months so we pretty much planned to “plan” our week while we were on the plane headed across the pond. I think when the airplane took off we could really care less of any type of plan we were too hyped up on the feeling of leaving everything behind., The flight over was one of the best parts. Leaving work, problems, worries, and insecurities all 4,000 miles away was such a rush. Watching the computer on the airplane track your progress over Greenland, the Atlantic ..England and into Germany was amazing. I suddenly felt this perception of my world being incredibly small. I had this huge sense of adventure and couldn’t wait to explore and learn about something new. Everyone has probably heard the old cliché “Its not the destination it’s the journey” (or something like thereof) and looking back so much of that is true. My best moments on this trip were not arriving at the Prague Castle, Astronomical Clock or seeing Wenslaces Square it was the journey to them. Walking the streets stumbling across a bakery that would make you drool, walking in a church built in the 15 Century that its beauty would bring you to tears or talking with the local women about where to find the best “American Men” (hence we told her as soon as we found them we would let them know…) The whole trip was full of spontaneous decisions, small victories (the golf ball keychain/door) and spectacular revelations.

Who would have thought I could start 2008 off so well. With one European girls trip under my belt I would soon find that I would take on Europe a few more times before the year end. Prague was amazing and I can only hope someday when I have fulfilled many of my travel desires I will find myself strolling along the Charles Bridge admiring aged statues and sharing it again with someone very special to me.

Prague was about leaving my comfort zone and entering a new exciting phase in my life. Travel, Independence and Astonishing Confidence that I can make my world whatever I like.

As for 2008 - I’m starting to live the life I’ve always dreamed… In the present, longing only for this very moment and cherishing my COUNTLESS blessings.

Movie Day 4 JSS

2008-09-04T20:26:00.006-04:00

So I went to the movies to see this

Which may I add - it was a pretty funny flick... and any red blooded American male wouldn't mind watching...

Then this one at home

Which was really good and a movie I've been meaning to watch for a while now.

So now back to work!!

Oh How True

2008-09-04T09:40:00.000-04:00

Love Is...

2008-09-04T09:38:00.001-04:00

Woo Pig Sooie!

Cute.

2008-09-04T09:23:00.010-04:00

JSS - At Jimmy Buffet!

2008-09-04T09:14:00.008-04:00

JSS has now added another concert under her belt! Jimmy Buffet! I must say I'm already looking forward to going to another one...The following he has is for sure a fun crowd!

Hmm...A Parrot Head...does that suit me?

Yeah...Pretty Much :)

2008-08-31T00:03:00.000-04:00

Props Kenny Chesney....

2008-08-31T00:00:00.002-04:00

Random Stuff.

Pulling My Hair Out

2008-08-30T19:50:00.007-04:00

So college football starts today and JSS is more than stoked....she is getting seriously STRESSED. She has talked A LOT and I mean A LOT of trash about every conference besides the Almighty SEC. A LOT.

Her teams must pull it out. Arkansas MUST WIN before I start posting a list of excuses as to why they are losing. Hopefully SEC and ARKANSAS will pull out a great year!!

If not. I am going to try to be like other girls who could care less about football. I mean I do sometimes really wish I was a fair-weather fan or didn't really like it... sure would be easier on my nerves and stress level on game days!!

As for now...let the games begin!!

COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS FINALLY HERE!!!

Go Hogs, Dawgs and Tigers!!! (AZ that was for u!!) :)

Duffy On My Mind....

2008-08-25T19:19:00.003-04:00

So I'm in love with this woman's music.

Syrup and Honey - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtAb2bR41fM
I'm Scared - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZV3b6jZY5I&feature=related

are amazing... you may have heard "Mercy" on the radio

Go check her out!! She is all that is playing on my IPOD! :)

I bless the Rains down in ......

2008-08-25T10:54:00.004-04:00

JetSetStewardess is trying to figure her way around the globe as much as possible. One place which has always had such alluring charm is the place she is planning to takeoff too next SEPT.

Where......

AFRICA!!

JSS and her friends are just starting some of the planning process for the big trip next year! So far we have CapeTown on the list! Stay tuned to hear about my trip plans!!

Excuses Excuses

2008-08-25T10:38:00.004-04:00

I'm full of them, trust me.

I'm thinking about going here to look for one why I haven't been writing you lately.

http://madtbone.tripod.com/

So what did I come up with? I've been a busy bee in August. (I know worst excuse ever)

I am slowly getting back in the groove for Sept.

More blogs to come. I promise.

Scary Stuff.

2008-08-17T01:20:00.002-04:00

I guess it was bound to happen. When logging the flight hours I do at some point in my flying career an emergency landing was most likely to happen sooner or later. Well in keeping with my interesting summer my last trip of July provided to be no different.

Before I tell the story - I will say I’ve been flying a total of 7 years and nothing of this sort (well …not really) has happened to me. Usually, I’m getting paid to in a silly sort of way - host a party in the sky. I have fun layovers and meet interesting people while flying around the world making pretty good money for it. Therefore - when I actually do “earn” my money - It can be scary as hell……

The flight was only 45 minutes long and packed with 128 passengers onboard. We had taken off and had just past through 10,000 ft when almost simultaneously every passenger in my eyes view (from the back of the airplane) turned around in their seat and yelled “SOMETHING IS ON FIRE!” I was sitting on the jump seat and asked if they could see a fire - and they all said no. I reached for the interphone to call the pilots and then I heard the very dreaded… “All Flight Attendants to the front immediately” At that point I was overwhelmed by an extreme smell of smoke/fire/chemical fumes. Passengers had their heads buried into their shirts and people were starting to cough and a look of sheer fright spread amongst the cabin. I ran up the center aisle having no clue if I was about to see a huge fire in the front galley.

I get to the front of the cabin and see the FA (flight attendant) working in the front of the cabin shaking. She said “There is a fire….we are diverting back to the ground…the captain said find the fire.” She was on the verge of breaking down when I grabbed the fire extinguisher and we started searching for the fire. We then proceed to go through the entire cabin opening up overhead bins, feeling the sides of the aircraft for heat, and checking everywhere for a fire or the source of the smoke/smell. Then this haze/fog sets in the in the cabin. It wasn’t really Smokey but the smell was unbearable. People were starting to panic but I can’t remember making much eye contact with any of them. At this point I was holding myself together and all I could think about was fighting a fire.

The captain calls back and says for us to hang in there. He says he realizes the smell is extreme and they still didn’t know was causing the source of the smell/smoke/haze in the cabin. We then were 8 minutes from landing (Its probably been 12 minutes already since the emergency descent started) and people were on the verge of serious breakdown and the others had out their video phones. I’m still expecting any day to see myself with wild hair and a halon extinguisher running through the cabin on you tube any day now.

So by then people are going a bit looney. Everyone starts agreeing in the back of the cabin “It smells like someone is trying to light a MATCH” “A MATCH YES IT’S A MATCH” Then this one genius stands up in the middle of her middle seat and yells “WHAT IF SOMEONE HAS A BOMB!!????”

Ok haven’t you all seen meet the parents? YOU CAN NOT SAY BOMB ON AN AIRPLANE! Especially when you are nose diving towards the ground with a haze in the cabin and smells of fire. Without missing a beat I yelled “ NO ONE HAS A BOMB SIT DOWN NOW.” Of course - I was thinking “OMG WHAT IF SOMEONE HAS A BOMB!?” So then I start monitoring everyone and looking at their feet and hands pointing the extinguisher at people letting them know I wasn’t afraid to use it. By then we are almost to the ground and I head for the back jump seat to land. So with a Halon in one hand and the other flight attendants hand in my other hand we landed safely. Don’t you think the other flight attendant wasn’t -praying out loud those last few minutes until touchdown and I was amen-ing every word!

We sat on the runway for a while fire trucks inspected the airplane then after what seemed an eternity they tugged us into the gate. I then ran off the airplane and lost it. The stress of an emergency liked that is A WHOLE LOT to handle. I kept it together in the air but stepping off that airplane tears just came erupting out of me. There were emergency personal everywhere in the jet-way. We had supervisors from every department and they took good care of us afterwards. They pulled the rest of our trip with pay and sent us home. For days later I kept getting calls from our “Care Teams” checking on my mental stability. By day 3 I was like “Well I’m fine about flying…but can we dive into my personal life?” Sadly they weren’t offering that type of therapy.

Turns out there was some sort of gasper fan in the cockpit (that wasn’t visable to the pilots) that caught on fire and burned out. Well those are what provide air flow to you at your seat (the nozzle above your head you adjust) and that’s why the cabin was filled with a haze and horrible odor.

So that was my emergency landing. Bad day at work I must add. Thank goodness that stuff rarely happens because I would be considering a bank job real soon if I had to deal with those situations often. What a summer it has been. Hopefully nothing exciting like that for a LONG TIME. I can handle pimps and ho’s (see my prior blog ALL IN A HARD DAYS WORK ) but fires ….NO THANKS. Stay tuned… like they say.. Where there is smoke there is bound to be fire!

(I know I’ve REALLY been slacking on the blogs… They will start back up soon… I’ve had BUSY few weeks..thanks for hanging in there!)

My Last Working Flight Made An Emergency Landing .....

2008-08-01T01:08:00.003-04:00

Which is a pretty big deal in the world of being a flight attendant. We train for it for weeks... and pray it never happens! Everyone on board the aircraft passengers and crew were fine - But boy do I have another good story to tell.

I'll write about the whole experience soon - I was in shock for about 2days but now I'm back to normal (as normal as I can be :) and headed to Dallas for the day tomorrow to shop with my mom!!

I'll fill you guys in soon I promise. In the mean time.. This is what I looked like on my last working flight! SCARY HUH? (This pic isn't me obviously....but a good idea of what I was dealing with!)

I can't Help Myself.

2008-07-24T21:42:00.002-04:00

So this also has NOTHING to do with being a jetsetstewardess... But bear with me.

Aug 30th people - The Arkansas Razorback Season Opener!! I've got my hog hat on standby...and a cute new red dress to wear to the game!! This is serious people. I can't wait until fall... football...boots...sweaters and hot drinks!

Buy Me Just ONE Pair and I'm Yours

2008-07-24T14:03:00.005-04:00

FOREVER.

(Sorry I saw the first pair and ended up googling Christian Louboutin's newest shoes and that's when I ended up having to wipe drool off my keyboard...SO I thought I'd share some findings) I'm slightly into bows...can you tell? Oh and I just realized I have the pink shoes in RED. Figures.

A Blog in the Works

2008-07-24T12:51:00.002-04:00

I'm working on a new blog entitled "Manners Can Be Fun and how NOT to make your Cabin Crew Crazy!" (well something to that affect...)

Pretty much a guide to manners on an airplane... I need your input - Please email me or leave comments on things you think should go into this blog. Come on Stews...I know you can only think of like a million.....

jetsetstewardess@yahoo.com

Stay Tuned!

Cutest Thing Ever

2008-07-24T12:49:00.001-04:00

I'm in Love!

Ok Brad Pitt HAS to be Next!

2008-07-24T12:20:00.002-04:00

Well yet again another high profile meeting.
Mike Huckabee
Mr. Huckabee was walking down the terminal in the Little Rock, AR airport on his way to catch a Northwest Airlines flight when I knew I had to meet him. He was only traveling with one person and he was carrying his bags himself. He looked straight out of an Orvis store and had a very pleasant demeanor. I was in my Stewardess uniform and ended up walking right beside him when I said hello. He was very polite and we had a very informal introduction and he said - "I'm not flying your airline today but I fly them often, I'll look for you on a future flight Ms. JSS" I wished him safe travels and we both went on our separate ways.

I talked to some of our gate agents later who said he does travel our airline quite frequently and how he is always very low-key and polite. My meeting with him was no different!

So who next? Probably Leroy and Billy headed to a NASCAR race decked out in their finest overalls. Oh well for now I'll take my Emmy award winning journalist, presidential candidate and a young hot MTV Reality Star!

Celeb Sighting!

2008-07-23T12:07:00.002-04:00

Probably one of the absolute best part of my job is the simple fact that every single flight there is change. With everyone knowing that my attention span can be pretty short the mere fact that every single flight I work is different thrills me. Its wonderful, actually. I come to work never knowing who I will meet, where I will eventually end up for the night (it can change..and does sometimes) and what new adventure I will face 37,000 feet high.

So what was so exciting about my flight yesterday?

This Man.

How could you miss Mr. Sam Donaldson sitting in your section?? He was leaving his ranch in New Mexico headed for the DC area. His wife was reading Barbara Walters book and they were both very polite and very low maintenance .

So when it comes to celebs this week I’ve just been moving right on up the creditability list…from a MTV Reality Star to the most highly-paid newsreaders at ABC with 3 Emmy's.

My life is turning out anything but boring and I wouldn't have it any other way!

It looks like a cheesy quote...but trust me its not

2008-07-20T23:50:00.005-04:00

So many people live with unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each new day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear crazy. But once you have become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and incredible beauty." - Alexander Supertramp, aka Chris McCandless

Its All About the Ads

2008-07-20T22:27:00.007-04:00

Usually - The Only Time I fly Coach...Is On My Arm :)

2008-07-20T20:44:00.005-04:00

These new Delta coach seats do not look so bad...

Delta to unveil roomier coach seatsPosted April 24, 2008 at 10:41 am ET by Molly Feltner, SmarterTravel.com Staff

It's not all mergers and billion-dollar losses with Delta these days, at least not according to the numerous bloggers who've reported that the airline plans debut comfy new seats in economy class on some of its 777s and 767s by 2010. Delta is supposedly working with Thompson Solutions, a Northern Ireland-based company that designed the new full-flat bed seats for the airline's BusinessElite class.

For economy passengers, Thompson's "Cozy Suite" seating promises to give two extra inches of legroom, more privacy, and a "fixed cocoon" design conducive to comfortable sleeping. In the past, airlines have been loath to provide more legroom in economy because doing so generally means some seats must be removed, thus reducing the number of paying passengers that can fit on an aircraft. However, Thompson's seat design attempts to alleviate this problem by staggering seats in a way that makes better use of available space, giving passengers more room without the airline having to lose as many (or any) seats.

With Delta hemorrhaging money right now, we'll have to see if these new seats really come to pass. At press time I couldn't find a news release on Delta or Thompson's website indicating this is a done deal.

These actually look a lot better! It sure beats using your neighbors shoulder as a pillow! Your thoughts?

Well "Here's To Hoping" Worked!!

2008-07-19T02:48:00.006-04:00

Ok So it wasn't Justin Timberlake in a Givenchy suit but it was this MTV Hottie.
Evan Starkman

Evan Starkman was a passenger on my flight last night. The other flight attendant and I chatted with him during our approach into Baltimore. He was a very outgoing nice guy who went on about he LOVES Southern Women (Mind you I'm from Arkansas and my fellow crew member was an adorable Kentucky Girl) I must say he was quite charming. He didn't mention MTV and was shy about his job so we just continued to discuss southern colleges/football and our plans for the night! (Then sneak off in the galley to discuss if he was the MTV star or not)

He finds out he is our last stop of the night and makes a plea all the way out into the Jetway for us to party with him and his friends in Virgina. He said he wasn't sure where they were going... But he could make it work if we would say yes. Staring at this boys arms was not helping me make any rational decisions - but we came to an agreement that we should probably pass on this outing. I know turning down a young MTV Hottie?? We agree now we ARE Crazy!!

We of course google him right away when we get home to find out his full name is Evan Starkman and he was on the Real World Road Rules Challenge.
It sounds like he speaks at local colleges now about sexual health and the dangers of alcohol . He also has a clothing line where half of the proceeds go to charity. Sounds like this young hottie has things together!!

Here is a plug to his T-Shirts

http://branchoutclothing.com/

So it wasn't JT... But we did find a nice Canadian boy who couldn't help him self to a few nice Southern Stewardesses.. Bless His Heart!

Sounds Like Another Normal Day At My Office...

2008-07-19T02:35:00.004-04:00

Ok stewards and stewardesses - We may just have to read this book now - Who knows when a naked man will show up running around the airplane in a crazy fit! Hey we need to be pro-active and be prepared here!!

News Flash:

FBI: Soccer team members help subdue man on flight

Buzz Up Print OKLAHOMA CITY – An American Airlines flight from Boston to Los Angeles was diverted to Oklahoma City on Friday after a passenger stripped nude and later tried to open an emergency exit door before being subdued by members of a professional soccer team and others, the FBI said.

Members of the New England Revolution of Major League Soccer were among those who grabbed the passenger near an exit door, FBI spokesman Gary Johnson said. Tie wraps were placed on the man, whose name was not immediately released. He was taken into custody in Oklahoma City and placed under psychiatric evaluation, Johnson said.

American Flight 725, a Boeing 757, arrived in Oklahoma City at 1:35 p.m. CDT and was back in the air an hour later, said American Airlines spokesman Tim Smith. It landed without further incident at Los Angeles International Airport at 3:13 p.m. PDT.

Craig Tornberg, the soccer team’s general manager, said he confronted the man as soon as he saw him emerge naked from one of the plane’s restrooms.

“I said he should get back into the bathroom and put on his clothes,” Tornberg said after the plane landed in Los Angeles. “He said something strange to me. He said, ‘I don’t hear you. I don’t see you.’ ”

Tornberg said the man complied and got dressed but a few minutes later “made a beeline for the emergency door.”

Tornberg said he, assistant coach Gwynne Williams and Michael Burns, the team’s vice president for player personnel, grabbed the man and forced him into a seat while a flight attendant tied him up.

“It was strange, but when he put his hands on the exit door – that brought it to another level,” Burns said. “Clearly, he wasn’t thinking straight.”

The pilot diverted the flight to Will Rogers World Airport where the man was removed.

“He was taken into custody by the Oklahoma City Police Department and taken to a crisis center for a mental evaluation,” Johnson said.

Shortly before the incident, Tornberg said he saw the man, described as clean-cut and in his early 20s, crying and “talking a lot of gibberish.”

The soccer team was on its way to Southern California for a game on Sunday against Chivas USA at California State University, Fullerton. Its members were among 151 passengers and seven crew members on the flight.

As passengers left the plane in Los Angeles, several indicated they had taken the incident in stride.

Gillian Callaghan, who was traveling with her 12-year-old son, said she never panicked because the flight crew seemed to keep things well under control. She said she felt sorry for the man.

“He was just having some troubles, confused, not a scary guy,” she said.

___

Associated Press writer Raquel Maria Dillon in Los Angeles contributed to this story.

Here's To Hoping....

2008-07-16T13:03:00.001-04:00

He is on my flight tonight!!

This Screams Movie Night

2008-07-16T13:02:00.000-04:00

We Have A Bleeder!

2008-07-15T00:42:00.006-04:00

Well I have a good excuse I promise.

I sliced open the top of my middle finger...hence hending my ability to type! I am way behind on emails, comments and blogging its disgusting.

This lovely disaster happened last week about 1 hour prior to my trip-check in time. I was reaching behind me in my make-up bag not realizing my razor (of it felt like 8 blades) did not have a lid on it. Plus it was sticking straight up and scooped out a ton of my flesh instantly leaving me screaming. I hurled over and saw blood getting all over my shirt and ran for a wash cloth. It felt like within 1 minute the whole thing was saturated with blood. I removed the cloth only to see blood pulsing out and that's when things got a bit blurry.

I looked down at my chest and I was covered in sweat and I started seeing black dots everywhere. I lost my hearing (odd huh?) for a few seconds and felt faint. I freaked out. I was alone and about to pass out. I reached for my phone and called my mom and I laid down in the floor. My mom started freaking out (she knew I was by myself but felt the need to ask me if anyone was home only like 10 times) and finally I felt ok enough to stand back up and find something to wrap my finger in.

1 hour went by and it was still bleeding. I had to go to the airport and check-in (it was to late to call in sick) so I figured I'd go check in then talk to a supervisor about what to do next. I make it to the airport and my whole arm was shaking. Not to mention I couldn't look at my finger or I would get that queasy feeling all over again. I walked up to the supervisor desk and he said "Oh GIRL Oh My GOD..Let me get Sally!" He called over to Sally and she said "Give me a minute I'm busy" They he yelled out in the crew room "WE HAVE A BLEEDER!!"

By that time the whole crew room of flight attendants were around me asking what happened and asking me why I was at work! The supervisor wrapped up my hand and sent me to the doctors office where I got it cleaned and cast up - Then a tetanus shot.

Meanwhile - Life is hard without the use of my middle finger. No wait - Not like that ... Washing my hair with one hand is no fun - Re-Wrapping my finger every 3 hours is No fun - and my typing ability is horrible. But hey - At least I still have 10 fingers!!

So for those of you still checking my blog and seeing the same old stories - I beg for your forgiveness and know as soon as I can take these 5 bandages off of my finger I will be able to type again at somewhat a decent speed (and without hitting 2 extra keys every time I press one with my middle finger!) I'll continue my blogging.

Until then - Here is the Moral of the Story

ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS PUT THE COVER BACK ON YOUR RAZOR. ALWAYS.

Oh the Places You Will Go..

2008-07-07T11:54:00.005-04:00

I usually do not post my personal pictures here (and it will not become a habit either) but this one is to good to pass up. This is my nephew over the weekend. As soon as he gets strong enough to pull my crew bags...that baby is going places!

My Texas Treat

2008-07-06T01:41:00.009-04:00

So I haven’t disappeared into a black hole this past week - I’ve disappeared into the time-warp of my hometown. Of course, never being discourteous to my small town old life but I’m realizing I’m addicted to the jet set life maybe a little more than I would like to admit.

What a week. Lets just say this - In the past 6 days I have slept in 5 different houses and tonight being no different. (Yes girls, just friends and family….) I have literally lived out of my roller bag all week long and the funny part is, I haven’t been at work! I’ve been going non-stop all week and the peculiar thing is I can’t wait to get back to flying where I feel my time will slow down a bit. Its hard having so many social engagements!!

The first part of my week I made a very fun trip to Texas to be with two of my favorite girlfriends. I got to Texas and the first stop was a Spa party at an incredible chic house owned by my best friends, friend.
We got pampered from head to toe while enjoying margaritas by a pool. It was a “girls only” party so between the indulging in beauty products/body pampering, the margaritas and the endless talk of men…. I was in girl heaven. Plus my two very close girlfriends were right beside me never leaving me short of banter.

The pool/spa party ended and off to do the next most conceivable “girlfriend” thing to do…. A “Sex and the City” movie viewing. That’s right we dressed up in head to toe couture and took the town of Longview, Texas by storm. You would have thought we were strolling down the Champs-Elysees in Paris with our trendy designer duds on, instead we were crushing the Longview, TX boys hearts with our high heels and dresses.

Sex and the City was great and our dinner afterwards was quite the experience ( chicken in Antarctica…right?). We stayed up until 4AM talking like giddy school girls and took some fun pictures to go along with the nights charade. The next day we might as well been Carrie, Samantha and Charlotte (yes L you would be Samantha..) eating at a chic Asian restaurant where the girl-time continued. After lunch we finished off our short-time together with a few shops including one of the local favorites “Dressing Gaudy.”

Overall the food was superb the shopping entertaining the party fierce and the girlfriends… irreplaceable.

It just goes to show you even if we aren’t strutting 5th Ave in New York (which we have been known to do…) we made Longview, Texas quite the event and worth every minute I spent there.

Unfortunately, being a JSS its hard to always find time to meet up with my friends in all the different cities they live in. I have such a long list of people whom I need to be flying in to visit its hard to find time to fit it all in. So making it that its not an everyday occurrence it makes me appreciate and relish what a true bliss it is to be in the company of such authentic faithful friends. I love you girls and this weekend should have proved JSS dedication to making even a 2day girl party happen in a moments notice! (B, I don’t miss parties..next time I expect an invite weeks in advance!)

FYI
(hey girls remember when we were asked to go to our "happy place" mine included this... and this and these
“Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job”

I'm Sure No Doctor!

2008-06-29T00:52:00.001-04:00

A brief JSS thought on In-Flight Medical Emergencies (and soon to follow the In-Flight Scare of my week)

In-flight medical emergencies are scary. A woman collapses and everyone around her is staring up at me expecting me to know exactly what to do. A child goes into seizures and I’m the one in charge to help. What about people who stop breathing or have a heart attack on the airplane. Everyone looks to the crew for help. I understand that and I know my job is all about the safety and security of my passengers. (Even though I like to think before every flight I’m hosting a fabulous in-flight party until we reach our destination.. Its way more than that)

The problem lies within our limited medical knowledge. In training “First Aid” is a mere chapter in a manual of many things we cover. We probably spent possibly 1 day on covering all the “information” you need on a medical emergency. So pretty much if your stomach hurts… I give you ginger ale and a sweet smile. You have a headache I offer aspirin and a pillow. You sprained your foot - I give you ice and offer up a really sweet “I hope you feel much better kind sir.” Don’t get me wrong we went over how to deliver a baby but all I remember was to yell PUSH. We were trained in CPR and the use of an onboard AED/and in-flight oxygen…but other than those things we are pretty restricted to what we can give/and or do on the aircraft for sick patients.

Our only saving grace on the airplane is our MEDLINK connection. Its a huge headset that connects us with a hospital where we can speak directly to a physician who deals with emergency care. We have a few different kits on the aircraft that if only directed by MEDLINK we can open and administer their contents. Medlink is wonderful because it takes the liability off of the crew.

So to me, having a medical emergency is terrifying. I’m pretty much being entrusted with the care of someone who is possibly on the brink of death. Wow. I feel so under-qualified its scary to actually have to be in control and handle situations with so much on the line. Ask me to evacuate a 767 in 90 seconds with smoke and fire - No problem…. We are trained to do those life or death situations over and over. I particularly shouted out evacuation commands in my sleep for weeks after training. I can deal with scary things but when it comes to a subject my knowledge is so limited I feel so out of my league. We always pray we have some medical personal onboard the aircraft to help but that is not always the case.

So evacuating burning aircraft……no problem

A medical emergency… I may make a cute nurse… but I‘m sure no Doctor!

(Stay tuned - More to come about this weeks medical!)

The Realization

2008-06-27T01:01:00.005-04:00

A good friend of mine Hannah, and I have come to the realization that we know where all my source of in-flight excitement is coming from. Ok, let me re-phrase that. My in-flight DRAMA. I mean don’t get me wrong here my job is never the same. Never. Ever. Different crews, passengers, weather, routes, airplanes and in my case destiny. I seriously believe I’m destined to an in-flight career of odd bizarre behaviors and happenings. I must say at least I have a fabulous diary.

So ok back to my conclusion on mine and Hannah’s source of all these crazy stories lie…..

THE BLACK CAT NEXT DOOR.

So pretty much this is it. Where I live in my base city I live next door to a family that owns a black cat. Never failing every time I leave the house to go to work (it seems like work only…) here comes Mr. Black Bad Luck Cat skyrocketing towards the road to make sure he runs in front of my car. Its like he has this small little sensor that says “JSS is leaving heading to work…I can‘t let that Blondie possibly escape her day with no drama…RUN PAST HER CAR QUICK!”

So as I slow down to go over 3 speed bumps in the driveway ( I know who has THREE speed bumps in a driveway..) he runs out in front of me and crosses my path in that sneaky there is no escape sort of way. Some days because I have to drive so slow over the speed bumps he gets an extra run-back-and-fourth in. So its like I get double the bad luck. Thanks Kitty.

I use to never believe in that sort of thing but now it’s the only thing that is making sense. Too many strange things are happening on my flights. Now I see that cat and give it the stare of death look - Its like I seriously am saying out loud in my car “NOT TO DAY YOU LITTLE KITTY - Don’t make me get a dog up in here!” (I know I’m so hardcore) I turn into this gruff girl and really try to put my foot down with this stupid black cat. (Meanwhile - I’m inside my car yelling these things at a cat…real logical I know) So anyways this Black Cat next door is the root of all this evil.

So the antagonist cat and I continue our little game of cat and mouse while I try to creep out of the driveway. Hey he may get a few laps around my car in before I can make it out of the driveway…. But no way can he keep this Southern Stewardess down!

So here’s to you Mr. Black Kitty…. By thinking you would lap my car today and rain upon me bad luck… I did get to the airport and had a very infrequent re-route to my entire 2day trip. (Which hardly ever happens) Well I am thinking the worst… 6 flights to Lubbock, Texas…. And low and behold…. I get instead of two to Nashville… ONE FLIGHT TO FORT MYERS, FL!

So no worries little kitty…I’m headed out early in the morning to a grand outdoor shopping plaza and quite possibly working on my tan at the pool later in the afternoon before my night flights.

So today it was JSS -1 BLACK KITTY CAT - 0!

(So I text my girlfriend Hannah to make sure its ok to use her name in my blog…. I start to remind her about the black cat we talked about last week… suddenly hoping she hadn’t forgot when I had told her about it… She was like OMG I just sent you a myspace comment about that stupid cat!! We have not talked about the cat in at least a week…and I call her while writing this blog and this is the comment she had left me literally 4 minutes before the phone rang.. “I haven't been on myspace in long time!! Just in case Mitch stalks me :) Stay away from that black cat!! And lets hurry up and get to Puerto Rico!”)

Now that’s anomalous and totally random and that folks..is my life

Oh and Mitch if your reading this - Hannah and I think you’re the greatest most wonderful man EVER. Even though Hannah did screw you over this weekend! We are forever your girls!

Stay Tuned....

2008-06-26T01:27:00.002-04:00

New stories from the sky to come soon! I just got back from a 3day trip that of COURSE had some interesting things happen....

I would post but I really don't do dark circles .... So off to dreamland for JSS.

So go ahead...Keep hitting refresh :)

- Plus I was sick of coming to my blog and seeing that poster of a rat. I really have to move on from that....

The Rats That Ran Me Out

2008-06-22T09:17:00.003-04:00

This is taken from a previous blog of mine about my living crisis I had last year.

The Rats that Ran Me Out.

Well they finally won. My independent strong autonomous self couldn't’t withstand the grotesque superfluous beings living in the midst of me. What was that last sentence about? Something that makes strong men become babies at the sight of, something that repulses most of all man kind. The Rat. Oh and not just singular…PLURAL… living with me. I was living downtown Baltimore (in the Greek District) in a row house and enjoying it quite a lot. It was an older home but pretty much redone on the inside and it was HUGE for Baltimore city. My roommates were great and to be honest I didn’t spend a lot of time there…but it was a nice place to call home.

So one night back in OCT I went to bed late as usual and had to set my alarm for around 3:30AM to work an early "1-day" trip to Florida and back. From here out the story is quite a blur. I woke up and it was still dark out. I went to my closet and pushed back the curtains (which I used instead of the doors on my closet) and reached up to the light bulb to pull the string to turn it on. At that point my life seriously flashed before my eyes. I was eye to eye with a brown rat who was squealing running fanatically towards me jumping on my hangers and onto my clothes. Did you get that - A BROWN RAT … with a LONG TAIL… EYE TO EYE WITH ME. Oh yeah he was squealing. Oh and me… Maybe I passed out for a second.. Well I WISH I would have passed out…maybe I could have hit my head really hard and forgot it all. I didn’t, I was hysterically shaking and seriously considering ending it all right then. The rat didn’t touch me but he was inches from it. I’m sure the light scared the diseases out of him and he just went running…towards me.

Ugh. Sick. I feel the urge even now to run to the shower and scrub my whole body for hours under scalding water. So that morning I got ready for work in complete shock. At work I begged every man I came in contact with to PLEASE come to my house to help me with my unwelcome live in visitor. My pilots, the male flight attendants, passengers and even TSA screeners I pleaded with. Most all of them had to work and or they couldn't’t come over until later. I pride myself on being an "Independent woman" and handling things most girls might defer to men. Well forget it - I might as well been the most reliant girl on the face of the earth. I think there are few reasons men were put on this earth..and dealing with RATS is for sure one of them. I was even real close to offering up my body for help. Yes, I feel the judgment right now as your reading this - but trust me when it comes to brown city rats with tails invading your room… Most of my morals (and good judgment) went out the window. Plus one of those rats probably carries more disease than the local hookers. Ugh. That’s what was living in my room…ON my things!

I knew I would have to be a big girl and take things into my own hands. So off to Home Depot. Of course in any horror flick what is the weather doing… raining and not to fail my ongoing horror it was pouring rain. Of course parking at the home depot in the city I get one of the last parking spots furthest away from the door. At that point I could care less. I took off running in the rain and by the time I got in you would think I was trying to enter myself in the Home Depot Girls Gone Wild calendar. My shirt hair and pants were soaked.

I was desperate disgusted and drenched.

I got help and we went off to the "extermination" aisle. The girl helping me was probably around 22 and she was like one of those girls who probably has pet snakes and shoots pumpkins with a shot gun for fun. Total redneck - tomboy - monster truck loving girl ..but at this point she was my Savior….Best friend…Only hope at my rat assassination attempt. I tried to get on her level to really get all the good information. She first said traps. They were big traps and she said it’s the fastest way to dead rats. Great I’ll take 30. I start grabbing as many as I could carry when I started walking off she said "Make sure to use LOTS of newspaper!" I twirled around and said "What!?" She said "Yeah, if they are big rats when that there clamp comes down on their heads - its going to be REAL BLOODY."

Ten minutes later we are still talking about my options. Yeah…after the "real bloody" comment and then realizing someone would have to actually remove the rat from the traps - I quickly re-evaluated my trap decision. Next was the "Execution chamber" She (of course) was totally against it and said It was "Inhumane." That’s when I got a little crazy. You know when you see people with those crazy eyes and you avoid them at all cost.. Well that was me in home depot. Here was something how my rant went..(honest)

"You want to know what is inhumane…me screaming so loud the neighbors three doors down comes running… You know what is to "Inhumane" those bastards making me shake so hard I drop my new NARS blush and it breaks into 30 unusable pieces…You want to know what is INHUMANE… the diseases these rats carry that would probably make my skin rot off if they touched me…Not to mention they are now residing in prime RAT real estate…They should call it "Rat Couture" because they are living in and using my chic expensive clothing as a carnival and residence! They are intruders - invaders on my cherished wardrobe….and MUST DIE!"

I must have been loud b/c after my rant I noticed a few people quickly walking away. Just picture it - Me soaking wet in the middle of home depot yelling about rats. In some crazy way it makes me laugh now thinking about how fanatical I must have been. Next the girls comment was pretty much priceless. "Listen woman - I know a really good counselor you could talk to ..when my dad got out of the "Slammer" for doing some in appropriate things..she really helped him regain his common sense and good mentality" She then said "You wanna know what sick things that bastard did…??" I practically yelled "NO! I NEED TO KILL THE RATS!!"

Seriously, I was like WTF.

So after realizing the "extermination chambers" were just for mice….the traps were to bloody all that was left was poison. I bought enough poison to kill every living rodent from Baltimore to Arkansas. I was all pumped up when leaving the store and raced home to plan my attack. As soon as I walked in the door my feet froze and I couldn't’t move. The early morning events came back to me and I couldn't’t even open the doors to my room.

Later that night my roommate Amanda came home and if someone was only videoing us. We were both standing on my bed with a broom handle and other long sharp objects. You can only imagine. We were throwing poison on the target areas and praying to God they would leave. It was going to be WW3 with those rats but they never showed their beady eyes that night (of course they just like to taunt me - when I’m alone with no witnesses). I knew then this was more than just a "mission" this was the downfall of my residence on Elrino.

That night I left the house and after throwing tons of the poison in my room and aiming for the closet I just couldn't’t sleep there. My roommates rooms were untouched by the rats (thank god) and they too got more poison to put all of the house. I thought surely after my 2 week hiatus the rats would be gone. I get back and sure enough I hear them and close my door and make my room in the living room where I slept on the couch wrapped up so tight in blankets I was the ultimate human burrito. I barely slept any and at that point I realize those malicious rodents had won. I had to move.

A few days later I got the nerve to go in my room and try to pack. I was doing good until they decided to come out of their couture new closet home and run down my belts I had hanging and make an appearance. This time I saw two of them at once running up and down my clothes using them as a ladder to the top shelf of my closet. I lost it. I started crying uncontrollably and called my mom - dad - friends - I was in need of sympathy quick…I wanted to just be a girl and have someone on the other end of the phone sympathize with me.

That next night my roommates guy friend came over and unknowingly got thrown into my closet to help me rid the rats. He was great. He helped me clean out my closet and Beck did as well. They had ate holes through the wood in my closet to infiltrate the room. Nothing stops them. Finally they were gone only to find refuge in the kitchen (which was in the basement right under my room) where they could really chow down.

That was the pretty much the end of my short tenure at Elrino Street.

Later I heard the rat decided to show his face to my roommate Rebbecca in the kitchen. I think he might have lunged at her and from the voicemail I got …she totally felt my prior pain. I can only hope the rats have made their departure - We all know Baltimore City doesn’t need anymore diseases running around. What a crazy turn of events. I moved out in Nov and haven’t looked back. Sometimes I truly wonder what a "normal" life would be like but to be honest I hope to God I never have to find out.

Maybe that’s just the thing with my life - Its one untamed adventure to the next and any conventional normalcy will probably always be to far out of my reach. Which is quite exciting really. I am embracing the excitement each day brings and the change that comes with it.

That’s all we can do right? Roll with the punches and Run from the rats.

These Never Get Old

2008-06-21T17:43:00.001-04:00

Real Men Of Genius

Speaking of Hot Fly Girls....

2008-06-21T17:27:00.002-04:00

Here is an article on the Top 10 Hot Stewardess Airlines.

http://www.askmen.com/fashion/travel_top_ten_100/129_travel_top_ten.html

Obviously These Boys Haven't Been On My Airplane

2008-06-21T16:39:00.002-04:00

Randomness.

Some FL men are discussing the lack of "Hot Flight Attendants"

http://www.gatorcountry.com/swampgas/showthread.php?t=62061

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

2008-06-20T10:13:00.005-04:00

Jss is most definitely and All American girl - So what better to do on a Friday night than go to a baseball game!? The weather around DC has been amazing the past few days so any outdoor activity sounds fun!

With JSS Cheering for the Washington Nationals seriously ..how can they lose??!

Cheers!

RyanAir Giving Their Passengers Quite a Lift....

2008-06-19T14:56:00.005-04:00

Wow. Ex-HootersAir girls there is still hope for you fulfilling your Flight Attendant dream job! I know you were so sad when your airline went under - but now RYANAIR has the perfect Stew job for you!!

(It gets interesting at around 1:00 minute in)

Seriously now. Good Lord.

Totally Off The Subject

2008-06-18T23:42:00.006-04:00

In case you don't have your calendar out

71 MORE DAYS UNTIL RAZORBACK FOOTBALL SEASON!!!
August 30th will be here before you know it and JSS has to make plans to be at as many SEC games as possible! There has been a good amount of good sports to watch on TV lately and it really fires me up about the upcoming season!

Plus theres a new love in my life...

You guessed it Bobby Petrino! He's the new man of the hour around Arkansas and I can't wait to see what he can bring to our football program. Maybe on 3rd and long we won't be running the ball up the middle in heavy traffic. Wow - Arkansas with a passing game... Now that should fire any Razorback fan up!

As Always - WPS (Woo Pig Sooie!)

9-5 No Thank You!!

2008-06-18T18:19:00.004-04:00

This past trip was quite glamours aside from the early hours I kept. Pretty much this was my Tuesday

Breakfast Conversation with an girlfriend (whom I haven’t seen in over a year) in Baltimore.

Lunch in Chicago with my old roommate who I ended up flying with (Chances are maybe 1 and 1,000)

Dinner in Miami!

This is for sure the life I signed up for! Flying from city to city and being surrounded by those who light up my world.

-JSS Strikes again…

Yeah...Pretty Much....

2008-06-18T16:36:00.002-04:00

Una Noche de Fuegos artificiales en Miami.

My Stewardess Thoughts.....

2008-06-16T17:29:00.003-04:00

"Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you really want."

“Traveling is a brutality. It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends. You are constantly off balance. Nothing is yours except the essential things - air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky - all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it.” - Cesare Pavese

“To my mind, the greatest reward and luxury of travel is to be able to experience everyday things as if for the first time, to be in a position in which almost nothing is so familiar it is taken for granted.” - Bill Bryson

“We travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us…”

“If you think about disaster, you will get it. Brood about death and you hasten your demise. Think positively and masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer in achievement and experience.”

Should I Be Offended?

2008-06-15T21:33:00.003-04:00

Someone seriously called me “Sky Bunny” today.

I was down the aisle retrieving a bag for a customer when a male passenger says “Hey Sky Bunny can I get another Beer?” It was followed by a sly wink wink. My face was probably priceless. I was genuinely in awe that this guy thinks his unfailing wit (with his new found term “Sky Bunny”) and cheesy wink was really going to score him points. I probably stood there for 20 seconds just thinking are you SERIOUS with this Sky Bunny term before I could let out a “I’ll be right back.” Which in flight attendant terms pretty much means “Screw you” (I know such HARSH language out of JSS mouth!)

I wish I had said something clever back to him but of course nothing good ever comes to me at the appropriate times.

I went to the galley and asked my other crew members if I had a bunny ears and a little round cotton tail on my rear that I wasn’t aware of. They of course laughed their heads off and tried to create something of the sort on the airplane that was a failing attempt.

I took the jerk back his beer and made him say the words “FLIGHT ATTENDANT’ before he could receive it.

Him “Thanks Sky Bunny (wink wink)”
Me “ Funny, I don’t see any “Bunnies” on this airplane! Try again!”
Him “Oh you’re a Sky Bunny that’s for sure”
Me “Again - Nope….no tail or ears….No bunnies…Do you want your beer?”
Him “ Well I see you’re a challenging one to win over”
Me “You got it - Beer or no Beer?”
Him “Yes, flight attendant”

Listen people, I’m trying to change the world here by one jerk passenger at a time. Its hard teaching grown men manners. So again let me reference my blog entry “Because boys need help” for that one.

Sky Bunny doesn’t cut it.

Sky Goddess....Now your talking my language!

To My Biggest Fan....

2008-06-15T14:32:00.004-04:00

Since I was a little girl

I've been lucky to have a father who is always supportive and loving of his only daughter! He has taught me important lessons

True Kindness to Everyone
To have a Giving Heart
Value of Money
That your never to old to try something new
You don't have to follow the crowd to be popular
A Non-Judgemental attitude
A good sense of humor can take you a long way in life
AND that I always have a supporter of my dreams!

I know my list is somewhat cheesy and I must say he has taught me far more than the few things listed - but JSS is blessed with a father who has always been involved with her life and has always loved and supported her.

So here's to you Dad! Happy Fathers Day! Thanks for your love and always reminding me that you are "My Biggest Fan!"

- Ok everyone can all let out a big ..."Awwwww" JSS just shared a personal moment. Don't worry I won't cloud up my blog with too many sweet cheesy moments..before long I'll be back on the airplane and have plenty of cynical sarcastic blogs on their way!

(This whole blog was really just to remind you ITS Fathers day ....call your DADDY!)

Where is JSS??

2008-06-15T13:20:00.008-04:00

That’s right, New York baby! JSS is on a 20 hour layover in such a great state!

Exciting layover plans you ask? Two Options

A. The captain of our flight crew Paul is building a house an hour and 45 minutes away from the city. He was renting a car when we arrived and driving up to their house early this morning. He invited the whole crew to come with him and we could hang at his lake house and spend the day on the beach there. He would have totally insisted but his jet ski and boat aren’t unwrapped from the winter yet. We could all go the grocery store get meat and cook out there on the lake! One of my crew members was hitting up the bar scene while another was exhusated from flying 5 days straight. I was stuck in the middle but had another great plan on the brink....

B. See an old BFF from High School that I haven’t seen in 10 years!! Obviously this option won! I was speaking to my father yesterday and told him where I was laying over at. He then told me he spoke to my friends mom recently and heard that’s where she was living! I scrambled to get her number and at 10PM after 10 years of not talking we finally caught up! She picked me up for lunch and we had a great lunch and coffee afterwards. Its nice to find a little piece of the south so far up north. We defiantly picked up where we had left off. Isn’t it amazing after 10 years, true friendships bonds can still last. Very refreshing.

So in total girlfriend style we talked about boys, mutual friends and careers. It was a perfect lunch and “H” if your reading this thanks for a fabulous lunch! I look forward to coming up for the weekend and crashing in the “H” house!

So after lunch I walk around the city and stumble across this sign. That just in some ridiculous way makes me smile and glad to think I’m somewhat a part of this culture even if for a day.
There’s a perk. I’m such a southern girl but for 20 hours I can transform to a total new society and actually feel comfortable in my environment.

I’m definitely becoming quite the Chameleon and I think that is one of my best qualities. The ability to fit in to all types of societies and situations with style.

JSS is more than just “Style In the Aisle” at work - She’s becoming a true world class traveler with the capability to facilitate new locality without seeming like such a novice.

(Ohh What an haughty statement I just made! Exonerate me please!)

Don’t worry in probably a few minutes I’ll fix someone’s “Coffee Regular” just black and I will seem like a first time New Yorker in instant. I like to dream big but sometimes reality has a funny way of slapping the south back in me!

Sending my Love from New York

- JSS

The Good Ole Days

2008-06-14T08:47:00.001-04:00

This Screams Movie Night

2008-06-14T08:42:00.000-04:00

I Heart......

2008-06-13T16:19:00.015-04:00

This may become a staple in JSS Blog. I will tell you what the newest things are I'm in love with. So here we go - This weeks JSS Guilty Pleasures....

Ok because seriously - If I have one of these in my hand... Good Things Are Happening.

Yum.

JSS is the ultimate girls girl. So is Betsey Johnson. I love her things. I mean where else can you find gaudy pink/leopard print lingerie and makeup-bags with pink roses on them? Seriously this woman is fabulous!

Yes, I am going to brag - After hours at the gym...I'm wearing THESE in a 4! I heard a quote recently that says "If you don't focus on your ass, no one else will!"

English Bulldogs make the world go round. Seriously they are the best things on this earth.

I can cook a mean breakfast in this cute thing!

Last but not least - My GUILTY Pleasure. Seriously this blog is the biggest suck-hole of my time. www.dlisted.com

Anyone else into the same things JSS is into this week? If so comment and let me know!

Because Boys Need Help

2008-06-12T11:07:00.004-04:00

Thelma and Louise....

2008-06-11T00:57:00.006-04:00

Well ALMOST. In the picture above is Ms. Ora and Ms Louise, they were the lovely sister pair that were my seatmates flying into my domicile tonight. These two ladies for sure gave me a dose of the best medicine around… laughter!

We took an extensive delay arriving into the east coast tonight due to weather and air traffic control. So I ended sitting next to these two women for almost 3 hours. I sat in the front row of the aircraft because I took the last seat left on the plane. I originally had the aisle seat but they saw I was a flight attendant and quickly put me in the middle because (and I quote)

“Oh Lordy Honey Sweet Child, look at you little blonde thing….Oh Honey Baby we are SO scared SIT IN THE MIDDLE Sweet baby girl! (as she LITERALLY PINCHES MY CHEEKS) Oh yeah sweet little southern girl YES Lordly Thank You LORD for putting our own flight attendant beside us!”

Honestly, how can you say no to that. While my cheeks were being pinched I slide in beside them and knew this would be an interesting endeavor. Then they grabbed my hands (so we are all 3 holding hands now) and Ms. Ora (the one on the left in the pic) started a prayer. She prayed for the pilots, flight attendants, the airplane, the weather and the people on the airplane who had the devil in them. Ms. Louise would echo her with a “Yes Lord…Yes Dear Sweet Lordy Child… Oh God You Know It…. Yes Lord” then we finally got to the “AMEN.” I didn’t say amen fast enough and I quickly got the “Motherly Do It NOW” look and I immediately smiled a big smile and said “AMEN SISTER!”

Well it pretty much goes on like that for the entire flight. We talk about their family and their plans on the east coast for the week. Turns out these women live 30 minutes from where I grew up. Half way into the flight Ms. Louise gets nervous. She grabs my hand and we proceed to hold hands for about 30 minutes. It was turbulent and she kept saying what a little angel I was to calm her. I was starting to feel like an angel as well. These two women were two sweet grandmothers who will just butter you up, until you feel like you ARE a perfect child. I honestly felt like one of their grandchildren and I was soaking it up. Hey, if I’m going to hold hands with the woman, dadgumit… I’m going to accept the compliments.

Well then the conversation turns to men. These two women would bicker back and fourth (leaning across me …) and talk about their husbands. One died 21 years ago while the other “ran off with some hussy.” She proceeds to ask me about my relationships with men and before I could EVER SAY ANYTHING they start in.. “Rebuke the Devil!! Rebuke Satan Oh Lord!” I asked them if they were telling me that men were like the devil… and Ms. Ora said “Oh no honey child, men make you do things that are from the DEVIL!” I responded “Oh like cleaning and cooking???” She laughed and said “No honey child, men make you do dirty things!!” Seriously I was laughing so hard the working flight crew had gathered around to get a little taste of laughter for themselves. I know the people even two rows back were grinning at this conversation.

Ms. Louise thinks girls should more or less…test the waters before jumping in while Ms. Ora starts talking about how bad premarital affairs are…which she includes heavy kissing. When Ms. Ora and Ms. Louise started getting graphic I lost it and just bust out laughing. They told me I was just embarrassed and I totally agreed with them! Listening to these women talk about sexual circumstances was just to much for me to handle. I quickly diverted their attention to another subject and before long Ms. Ora was reading Bible verses to our row because she felt “OF Sin” for discussing such “filth” about men. Hey we all need a little “spiritual cleansing” sometimes right?

Seriously these two women we total sweethearts and even though the conversation got a little uncomfortable… I don’t think I’ll ever forget these two. They wanted my name and phone number and told me I would be in their prayers everyday. I did get their contact numbers and told them I wanted a picture. I helped Ms. Louise comb her hair and they both put lipstick on before I could snap the picture. They quickly wanted to “view” the picture and we ended up taking about 3 different shots until they were happy.

They ended up offering me great advice and some of the best laughter I have had in a while.

Thanks Ms. Ora and Ms. Louise for sharing such a extraordinary view of the world with me and your inner glow that I can only hope I radiate to others as well.

I may not be the “Angel” they claim.. but one thing is for sure......

I do Have My Wings!

Can I get an "AMEN SISTER?" :-)

The Layover Legend Is Confirmed!

2008-06-09T22:37:00.003-04:00

Well folks after 6 years of flying at _____ Airlines I FINALLY have confirmed that the famous Naked Twister game does truly exist. (I know what your thinking and ITS NOT by participating!)

I was on a layover recently and all sitting down at the hotel restaurant when my first officer leans over and points out a younger male flight attendant. He leans over and starts to tell me what a celebrity this guy is. He tells me the guys name is Nick Shannon and that for years he has been formulating the “perfect layover” parties. Nick is based out of a FL base of ours and I had never heard of him. Our F/O (First officer) seems almost traumatized that I didn’t realize who this guy was. He proceeds to tell me how he will always make sure all of the airline crews hang together on a layover…initiate room-parties and brings a few games to make sure these parties will go down in Layover History. Sure enough Nick was working one table to the next and before long 4 different crews of 5 were now all sitting together as Nick joined all the tables. Nick was for sure a nice guy and obviously trying to make the most of his time away from home.

I start to interrogate our FO about what “games” this guy has. The FO said “NAKED TWISTER..DUH!” Oh Ding Ding - A light when off in my head and I responded “OH THAT’S THE GUY??” Sure enough I had heard of Nick and the wild stories that follow him! He is a ____ Airlines Layover Legend!

Soon after the bar closed all the crews went up to his room for the after party. I must say I’m not a fan of “room parties.” RARELY do I attend. If they are at a pool or some other venue …I’m game - but not a big fan of the hotel room party. I can’t imagine much good coming from a hotel room party at 3AM so I use good judgment there and always try to make a polite exit.

So anyways I must get a glimpse of the famous Twister so I follow the 20 other crew members upstairs to this party. Sure enough Nick had music, adult drinks and before anyone could say anything he pulls out the twister game! He apparently has his own rules on how to play the _____ Airlines version of the game and of course it involves losing clothing on each turn. Ugh. Sounds incredibly malevolent to me. After you play the game you are allowed to sign the board. There are hundreds of crew member signatures (pilots and flight attendants). Some are dumb enough to put their employee numbers and others can only think to write the obvious “What Was I Thinking…Capt Dave”. I scanned over the board and found only one person I knew that had played ….and that had owned up to it. I snapped this picture and called it a night.

Just think somewhere out there in the middle of America the captain of your flight for tomorrow may just have spun “Red, Right Hand” Which means he will now be completely exposed completely drunk and completely out of his mind. Who knows where that Right Hand will end up on the twister board… Lets just hope its steady for tomorrows flight!

(Ok I just re-read that last paragraph and it totally grosses me out. Sorry if you are experiencing a mental image like the one I have. In fact - To get that random captain playing naked twister thought out of your mind I’m going to send you to probably the best music site ever. www.myspace.com/tinaecmusic this girl is unlike anything else. Please listen to her song about her home state Missouri and also her re-makes of some pop songs. Plus her videos are a class act. Now that my friend is some good entertainment! Thank me later)

(Ok one more disclaimer as far as pilots/crew drinking goes - I honestly must say they are VERY strict about their drinking hours and it is followed impeccably. I would never fly with anyone who seemed the least bit still intoxicated (or for an airline where it was a common practice). These party-goers at night usually have almost 20 hours before they have to fly!)

A Thief... A Witch... and A Change

2008-06-09T01:50:00.005-04:00

I guess he wasn’t really a thief but had definite thief potential. The witch well I’m pretty sure she WAS a Wiccan and her long stringy gray hair only begged the question “Where is your broom?” As for the Change….Well its been a long time coming….

These two stories are from my beloved passengers onboard this week.

I guess I’ll start with the potential thief whom I will name Larry. Larry comes on board the airplane in khaki shorts a t-shirt from some tropical beach bar and a almost bald head. He obviously flies WAY more than I do and feels that he should control everything going on in the airplane. Larry is the guy who walks on board the airplane and runs right for the aisle seat on the last row on the airplane.

Now let me break my story to insert a tip here:

If you are on an airplane and think the “best seat” in the house is in the last row…YOU ARE WRONG. It is most likely the WORST seat you could pick (if you get to choose.) First they ARE smaller (especially the inboard seat near the wing). Second the are near the galleys. Think what happens in the galley - it’s the crews office so lights are on and the crew will be making noise there. If you are on the last row and REALLY bug us, we may just slam galley doors a little more often and harder just to make you realize you aren’t the “Smartest Person” on the aircraft for snatching up the last row! Lastly - if the plane goes pretty much half full …we LOVE having the last row of seats to ourselves! Believe it or not the jump seat isn’t comfortable and our office is very small. If we have time we take breaks on the last row of seats so if there is any way possible we like to claim that as an extension of our working space! In summary…. If you are choosing where you get to sit - Unless it’s the LAST aisle or window seat on the airplane - Please choose another seat! Give us the dignity to sit in a real seat to eat our dinner - instead of eating right outside the bathroom while some lame guy hits on us!

Back to Larry. Larry feels that after our chief flight attendants announces for everyone to be seated we are preparing for push back he can still stand and get in the overhead bin. Of course he can, because all of our announcements EXCLUDE Larry. After I give Larry a mean look he acts as if he is unfazed and continues to flop around the aisle and finally SLOWLY take his seat. Then of course Larry keeps looking back in my galley like he is really checking up on me. Then he brings out his phone only after 3 announcements to turn them off. By now its assured I HATE LARRY. This man for some reason is really getting under my skin. Seriously at this point I can totally spot that this guy will be a complete pain and I just want to try to ignore this man and move on with my life.

Across from Larry is what some of us flight attendants call the space b/w the last row of seats and the bulkhead the “Doghouse.” We usually stow our bags there and sometimes last minute luggage that doesn’t seem to find a home anywhere else. It wasn’t long after take off I stood up and was standing up beside the jump seat looking out into the cabin when I see an arm outreached across the aisle. I quickly peered over the bulkhead only to find LARRY DIGGING IN MY BAG. I loved that I caught him in the act. I said “EXCUSE ME THAT IS NOT YOUR BAG” Of course I said it loud enough where a few people turned to look. He said “I saw something blinking and I wondered what it was” I just said its none of your business and if you feel the need to meddle through other peoples things you can talk to security when we land. I don’t believe he was out to steal - Larry just needs to have complete control over everything around him …even the contents of my bag. Can you believe it? Unzipping and looking through my things!! So no, Larry wasn’t a thief but the first passenger I’ve ever had to feel the need to look through my things.

The Witch - Well she was plum crazy. She had a long black dress and long stringy gray hair. She felt the urge ON TAKE-OFF while we are rolling down the run-way to run to the bathroom and yells some witch stuff at me. Seriously she was totally putting some kind of crazy hex on me because I told her she needed to be in a seat. She rambled some “witches snitches brew” stuff out and said “I”LL SIT ON THE TOILET FOR TAKE OFF DON’T PHONE THE PILOTS.” Of course I yell at her its not safe and she yelled some more voodoo talk and I seriously wanted to make an X with my two fingers crossing in front of me to yield away whatever she felt the urge to send my way. Seriously she scared me. What did I do? Maybe the better question is what did she say to me! I called the pilots and said that a witch was taking off in the lavatory and not to say anything or they will get some crazy curse as well. They were a little confused but I told them to trust me and like any good pilot they did. Crazy Witch lady finally came out and I avoided her the rest of the flight. So I felt totally violated. Larry digging through my bags and a witch casting spells on me.

Wow, am I missing something here? I’m reading a real simple book on the “Law of Attraction” and have been REALLY trying to incorporate it in my life. I hear its sort of like the book "The Secret" but not really sure because I didn't care for that book to much. Its principles are simple Good gets good - Nice gets nice - (a lot of positive thinking) Etc. Maybe the book should have been wrote differently for me. Good gets Jerk going through your bag - Nice gets 1 Witches Hex. Thank GOD I love my job. Otherwise a nearby therapist would never have a spare moment.

That was pretty much the excitement in my last two weeks of flying. A few other potential stories may come out later on but for now the Witch and Larry is what your stuck with.

So in May I have concluded …..

When looking for a pimp… He most likely will not be employed at IHOP.

At any given moment a Ho may ask me for help.. I shall be ready to plan another “Operation Pimp Escape” at any given moment on a flight. Seat belt Checks, Arming doors and planning a ho pimp escape plan - Try that for multi-talented.

Marc Jacobs has created a bag with a flight attendant on it. I NEED THIS.

If I ever see a Witch running for the bathroom on take-off - DO NOT Question it. In fact just let Witches do as they please. I’m not into hex’s, curses or spells.

MAC Cosmetics best product ever (Dazzle Gloss) WAS SEASONAL. After checking 4 different MAC stores in 3 different states I can officially start to grieve the loss of the best lip gloss ever.

Guys like Larry will never go away. Most likely Larry is on my flight everyday. Learn to ignore Mr. Control Freak and HIDE MY BAGS BETTER!

So Ohio isn’t actually “Northern” …. Its “Midwestern”

Last but not least - My new favorite song (of the moment) is “A Change is Gonna Come” because I really feel good things are going to happen to me this summer. I’ll leave you with a few lyrics…

“Life could pass me on, no no
I know I'm able, I'm able, I'm able
I'm able to carry on
It's been a long, good God almighty
A long time coming but I know, yeah
A change is gonna come”

All In A Hard Days Work

2008-05-30T15:11:00.000-04:00

Well I realize after posting this next story we can only go downhill. This story is a bit long but most likely be one of the wildest in-flight adventures of my career. I posted this originally on myspace on May 19th 2008. I really didn't have to use much of my own creative writing... this story stands on its on!

May 19, 2008 - Monday

All In A Hard Days Work Current mood: sneaky

Well I must admit every time the words "I've seen it all" slither out of my mouth another commercial flight happens. Tonight probably the most emotional/wild/lifetime moviesque situation happened. Its 2AM and I'm in such bewilderment I can't even sleep. The first thing was OMG my readers (ha… who am I kidding - maybe I'll say the people who feel obligated to read this because they know I'll ask them about it!) will LOVE this one! So without further a due .. My nights unfolding events…

Lets set the story up with the characters: (My entire cabin crew plus 2 extra pilots and a young girl with a small baby who was in need of some help)

The Captain was named Russell he was around 52 but really appeared to be 42. He is from Oklahoma and a true born and raised Oklahoma boy. He has a farm, wild college stories and a pretty fun sense of humor. If your not familiar with the way a "cabin crew" works..the captain pretty much is in total charge of the aircraft and has the final word on how things should go.

The First Officer was Henry. Henry looked to be around 35 with a family and pretty limited social skills. Don't get me wrong he is a nice guy but not to quick with the jokes or adding wit or fun to the crew. He is a man who comes to work does his job …maybe laughs a little along the way… and goes home and plays the father/husband role. Which is great but he seemed to be a little sheltered. He is definitely not one to tip his hat into any sort of drama.

The new flight attendant is a nice girl. Proudly its Sue's 3rd trip ever. Sue is 25 with a sweet personality, from Chicago and a bit of a "funky monkey." She reminds me a little of Lisa Loeb. Remember her funky hair with glasses? She fits that pretty much. She is good (from what I could tell) at her "stewardess skills" but still a total newbie. Sue is a huge fan of the 80's with a few tattoos to prove it. (plus she carried this really cute canvas bag that was a bit silly…but I must say adorable)

The peculiar flight attendant is quite the mystery. His name is Phan and he reminds me of a Buddhist Monk. He is a short man with a shiny bald head. He is a nice guy but a bit puzzling. He has been flying only a year so he still isn't use to the atypical situations that occur in-flight. I feel like he could offer me mediation tips and tons of old Ancient wisdom (even though he is probably only 35) - Oh god was that mean and so stereotypical? I hate to stereotype but he fit's that whole 'Buddhist Monk" thought to a tee. He probably is nothing like I think.

The Express jet captain looks to be around 48 and that he spent many years living in south Florida (aka tan leathery skin). He drinks scotch has good stories and gray hair. He and his first officer are flying us to get back to their home in Nashville. His name by the way is Randy.

The express jet first officer is pretty cute. He looks like a prep school graduate with southern charm and genuine interest in enjoying whatever comes his way. He drinks miller light and seems to be a good natured guy. If I were guessing I'd say he is 27 although he still has a baby face. Austin (his name) had been flying a 36 year old billionaire around all day on a private leer jet with Randy. They had NO idea what they were getting into boarding our flight.

THE CRISIS GIRL was a lost soul. She reminds me physically of Amy Whinehouse. She was a skinny white girl probably 5'2, 90 pounds . She had three little heart tattoos on her wrist and was wearing cut off blue jean shorts with a tank top. Her hair was jet black and shoulder length. She had a cute hair style and her makeup was actually done quite tasteful. Even though her body was so small and fragile her face was filled out. She looked to be around 18ish (I hope she was at least that old) and the type of girl who just only a few years ago was on a dance team at high school or was playing spin the bottle at a random teenage house party. She had an innocence look about her and still some sort of sparkle even though what was going on in her life was far from "sparkle." A few of her traits revealed she had been down a rigid road. Beside in her in the seat was a 7 month old baby girl. Mindy and her baby were on a flight that they were hoping would change their life.

So that's the players in the story I'm going to account. I really needed you to have a good feel of all the involved.

We take off from Miami and are in route to Philadelphia. I had just finished cabin service and started chit chatting with Henry and Austin. They were talking about their crazy day flying this young hot-shot around and the many trials that come with servicing the ultra-rich. It was only about 30 minutes into the flight when Sue came up the aisle and said she needed to speak with me in the front galley right away. Crap what now? The last flight we had a girl pee all on the seat then had to deal with the woman behind the girl getting pee on her shoes and feet. Please no more bowel movements gone wrong!! Please!!

She proceeds to tell me there is a young girl (aka crisis girl) in the back crying and needing help leaving the airport. Sue is still VERY new and doesn't really know what she is asking us for so she asks me to go talk to her. I of course say sure and head on to the back of the airplane to meet Mindy and take a seat beside her on the airplane.

She looks at me with these scared eyes and says she can't leave the airport terminal. She is wanting to know if there is another way to get outside without having to pass through the main passenger exit. She says she is in a bad situation and needs help. Then the tears start falling. She says she can't leave the terminal. I tell her I wasn't sure that she could exit any other way but the main exit and at that point told her she didn't have to tell me what was going on but I did offer a security escort if she was scared of something or someone.

While trying to think up some kind of help for her in this problem I really didn't know anything about she busts out with "I WAS TRADED!" "I was traded and I'm so scared." Oh God, I'm thinking traded… traded…. What in the world is this girl talking about? About that time her baby starts to wake up and she puts her fragile hand on her stomach and the little girl just coo's and goes back to sleep.

She is like a volcano erupting with tears now and she says she is going to meet her new pimp. So you can imagine my eyes at this point - I said a Real Pimp?? (Like she was talking about a fake one) She said yes that she was traded from the main Miami Pimp to one in Philly and she had changed her mind about it. Oh dear lord I really don't want to know anymore…I just want to mix a few drinks and make sure people have their seat belts on!! Ok - not really I was dying for this chance at some crazy pimp and ho drama. I told her let me talk to the crew and see what kind of "Pimp Evasion Plan" we can come up with.

I scurry off to the back galley and my crew members just see that look on my face like "You'll NEVER believe this one!!!" They say in unison "WHAT!!!??????" I fill them in on the story and they are dying. First of all its incredibly sad. I may be cracking jokes now but at the time I was beginning to get very emotional about the whole crisis. I went up to the two pilots we had as passengers and asked them about the layout of the airport. I filled them in on the whole story and they agreed to help in any way they could. I also went into the cockpit to seek some help. Russell our captain was jumping at the chance to help and Henry looked shell-shocked. Russell said we can try to talk our ground agent in to escorting her down through the airport from the underground so she wouldn't have to use the main exit. We all know its pretty much illegal but we were going to try for it.

I go back to Mindy and she is still crying. She says her baby has so many health issues and she doesn't have insurance or any money to help her. Her pimps give her plenty of money and take care of health bills so she is pretty much under their control. They bought her plane ticket and they had a complete description of her and all she knew that he was a black male and would have a suit on and carrying a pimp cane (Ok jk about the suit and cane part….) but she had never seen him before. She keeps saying how she doesn't want to live the life of one of the pimps girls that she wants out. She begs for help.

At this time me and my entire crew (plus the two extra pilots) are totally committed. We are all feeling if we can help this girl escape this pimp MAYBE she will start a new life for herself and her baby. I start crying while talking with her because there is no denying how sad the whole situation is. It was so dramatic! Meanwhile we have customers wanting drinks and snacks when our whole crew is planning "Operation Pimp Escape."

We land in Philly and the 50 passengers we were carrying all exit the aircraft. She is waiting on the airplane. I jump in the jet way and beg our agent to help us. Its hard to go into the whole story just standing there and he is pretty much non-compliant with every request I'm making. Russell climbs out of the cockpit and goes in the jet way to seek help as well for her. The agent blew him off and said he couldn't escort her anywhere and that we couldn't pull her bags from going on the conveyor belt. The captain said "bull shit" and ran down to the ramp to get her bags. I had a description of her bags ready. We had came up with the plan that if she couldn't get escorted by an airport employee down under the airport she could sit inside security (where no pimps…or persons who do not hold a valid boarding document are not allowed) and wait a few hours. Hopefully the pimp would give up and leave. I had fixed her a bag full of snacks/water/ and juice ready for the wait. We figured we could send her bags straight to the baggage service office so the pimp wouldn't see them on the belt and know she made the flight.

She had 3 bags. A pink camo roller bag (when asked what was inside she said makeup/heels/ and some "clubbing clothes") a black duffel bag with baby supplies and a pink car seat. She had everything to her name with her in those bags. One black duffel bag with her babies things…..that was all she owned.

Operation Pimp Escape was in full swing until she runs up the airplane saying "The Pimp isn't here!!" A few passengers who were a little late deplaning just looked at all of us like we were crazy. I said "Great! How do you know??" She said she borrowed another passengers phone and pretended to be another girl. He told her he was on his way. She had said she called a friend to come get her. At this point thinking we have to act fast! I tell the agent to radio-ramp and tell Russell (who is down there looking for her bags) to come back up and let the bags go. Of course the agent doesn't do it so I open the forward galley service door and try to yell over jet engines to Russell who is on the ramp beside the airplane. I finally after almost losing my voice get it to him that the bags are good to stay on the belt. Yes, if you were on the ground in Philly that was me yelling "The PIMP ISN'T HERE!! LEAVE HER BAGS!"

She starts heading up the jet way and I tell her I will help her. I grab the ho's baby and take off. Here I go running in the airport with a small baby alongside a prostitute. She seems so excited she may really get to leave without having to go with him. We run the long terminal and finally get outside security. In my head I'm thinking… " Look for scary guy with big pimp suit on and a cane….If I see him throw baby to the mom and run for the cops!" I mean who knows what pimps will do to people trying to un-foil their plans. I'm dealing with danger now and I must say I was getting a little rush. No pimp in sight so she takes her baby girl and I wait for my crew who is
coming with my bags. Just when we think its all over…..

We get to the baggage carousal where we have to drop off our liquor sales reports and money when we see Mindy hiding around a pole. Then I see Austin (the passenger pilot we had onboard) peculiarly walking to the baggage carousal. I knew he didn't check bags and I walked beside him and he whispered out of the side of his mouth that the pimp was right around the corner and he was going to get her bags and help her get out without the pimp seeing her. (Later on I found out that Austin and Randy saw her hiding and told her they would help her) Randy and Austin had a private van company picking them up and said they would put her in there they just had to sneak her off past the pimp.

The pimp was not what I expected. I saw him and my stomach turned. I kept thinking as long as he doesn't see her this will be ok. He was a short black guy and he had on black pants with a white shirt on. As he got closer to us I could see it had "IHOP" on the side of it. Wow a pimp working at IHOP. I know the economy is bad but good grief I didn't figure our pimp was an IHOP worker too! This is ruining all my visions of what REAL pimps look like! I need crazy suit AND A CANE!! While trying to keep Mindy hidden my crew all sees at the same time the pimp
sees her.

You can only guess what I do next… CRY. Austin starts cussing under his breath and Russell our captain goes into captain mode. I am telling our whole crew we can't let this happen to her. God only knows what she will have to do and what her baby might go through with these people. I kept saying WE CAN'T LET HIS HAPPEN! Russell says lets call security - at this point the pimp has got one of her bags off the carousal and we can bust him for trying to "steal" it. At least that would be enough time to sneak her away while he was in question. The pimp ends up getting two of her bags and takes them outside. While the pimp is outside Randy yells to Russell to grab Mindy and the baby and sneak them out the side door. So there goes our captain and Mindy running out the side door while I keep a watch on the pimps location. I'm freaking out at this point. I am seriously thinking "OMG we are all going to walk outside and his "pimp posse" is going to straight up whack us!" I figure…Pimps don't play around!

We get Mindy in the van (the van driver was like "Who is this girl???" and Randy yells "A ho in need of help just go with it!") I laugh but then we see the pimp looking for Mindy from inside the window. Russell decides to create a small diversion and while doing that he gets the pimp to follow him down away from the windows towards the baggage room. I see he is diverting him and he signals behind his back to get her out of here. I run back outside and yell at Austin to grab her bags where he had left them and for them to scram.

So picture this - I'm in full flight attendant uniform running outside the airport where tons of cars and passengers are loading and unloading "Get her bags - He is being distracted!!" "Yall take off - HURRY - GO!" Seriously they didn't teach me this stuff in flight attendant training.

I run to the van and we are about to shut the door when Mindy says "Where is my friend??" We are like Friend? What Friend? She says her friend who just left IHOP to come pick her up. Austin and Randy both yell "SHIT!" By this time I'm really letting go of my dream (that I had dreamed up over the past 30 minutes of running around fighting street crime in the airport) of becoming a CSI. I run back inside for the 30th time and find our captain Russell. He was like "I know wrong pimp" before I could even say anything. We grab Mister IHOP and put him in the van too. Randy throws me his card and says to call if anything else comes up with this.

They speed off and Operation Pimp Escape was complete. Now my crew of 5 were all left standing in the terminal saying …."If that wasn't the pimp….I wonder where the REAL one is??" We are all by this time ready to leave the airport and hope the pimp wasn't furtively sneaking around watching us. I get all frantic that he saw what we did and is going to follow us. We walk outside and we are all waiting for some old tricked out caddy to come by with real dark windows…see a window roll down and a pistol come out aiming at us. Then we see some pimp daddy jump out of the car surrounded by smoke and carrying the infamous pimp cane telling us that we have a death wish for messing with his ho. You can relax it didn't happen. Although we did quickly jump in the crew van and sat in silence for about 4 minutes. Then we hear Russell say "In my 25 years of flying… I have never" then we all bust out laughing and start with the pimp and ho jokes that still haven't stopped.

I later called Randy and he said he dropped Mindy her baby and the IHOP friend off at his car and the drove away. He said Mindy couldn't believe how we all tried to help her and that she was going to find her mom. Well all just have to hope MAYBE that was her break from the life on the streets. We did everything we could to help her. I promised Randy and Austin if they ever wanted to fly our airline again the entertainment would be a little more PG the next time and that it wouldn't call for hiding ho's and running from pimps ever again. They laughed and they were happy to have helped her.

Looking back I can't ever tell you how crazy it was. My job is filled with different responsibilities and tasks but never would I have guessed I would be saving ho's from the street. That's what I love about my job. One flight your rubbing elbows with movie stars and the next flight your helping your passengers run from their pimps.

Telling the tales is one of the best parts as well. Obviously I've changed all names and locations to protect myself from a pimp gang that might have my crews name on their hit list.

So like always I'm looking for the moral of my story and only one thing comes to mind…
Three 6 Mafia said it best.....

"I guess it is truly ....HARD OUT THERE FOR A PIMP!"

Jet Set Stewardess Has Been Cleared For Take-Off!

2008-05-29T13:39:00.000-04:00

Well after two weeks of looking at a blank blogspot page I have finally committed to posting on it. Here is where the problem lies… I’ve been laying on a white sand beach in St. Tropez for the past two weeks and enjoying a French Villa and learning how to incorporate crepes into every meal of the day. Plus with all the nude beaches around my train of thought has been somewhat displaced. What can I say - The life of the JetSetStewardess!

OK - The maid yelling at my door here at the Hilton just reminded me where I am. I’m so sorry how on earth could I get Raleigh, North Carolina mixed up with St. Tropez?? It must have had sometihng to do with that crazy dream I had last night. Well the honest truth is I’ve been scared to death to actually commit to writing in this blog. I feel that once I start - It can’t be lame and only updated 5 times a year. Here are my concerns:

- Sure the pimp and ho story is probably the most fierce story ever - so after reading that one - will it all be downhill?

- What if nothing exciting happens on my flights for a few months - What if the most exciting thing I can blog about is how a redneck woman begged for Kool-Aid flying into Jackson, MS. ??

- My fabulous layovers? I’m in Midland…. Not Maldives.

- What if my new friends and random people reading this decide I’m pretty much crazy and have not one drop of writing ability! Then I’ll just be known as “JetSetStewardess with no talent except for exceptional seat belt compliance checks”

- What if you start to realize my job isn’t all glamorous and I’m not walking down the aisle in a knock-out dress with pill box hat and perfect lipstick? What if you start to think we are just trash collectors and waitress in the sky?? Oh no!! The appeal I’m going for in my everyday life will be ruined!!!

Honestly I could keep going on but I’m sure your sick of my “What-If’s.” So now you know some of my fears I expect a little encouragement down the road! Honestly people take the energy to send me a little comment along the way maybe some of my shameless insecurities will evaporate with time.

So here we go. Expect some crazy stories along the way mixed with a little bit of humor and insight to my life as a JetSetStewardess. Its not always glamorous but sure is a fun ride!

I’ll leave you with a quote from Lauren Hutton that seems to be quite appropriate:

Without travel "I would have wound up a little ignorant white Southern female, which was not my idea of a good life."